Foolish Notions of a Hopeless Romantic

Is he still thinking of his ex?

2011-08-19T18:14:00.000+10:00

Getting into a new relationship with a guy can lead to a lot of anxiety about his most recent relationship, is he over her, has he moved on, does he really want to start a new relationship with you, and can he commit to putting 100% effort into making his relationship with you work?

Nobody can be certain that a new relationship is meant to be, but if a previous relationship is still on his mind then he's not going to be able to give you what you need, so here are a few tips to help you decide if he's ready for you, and if you should give him a chance or walk away.

If he started dating again almost immediately after his last relationship there is a strong possibility he is ignoring the 'get over her' phase of breaking up, also known as the grieving process which is common after any relationship ends. Putting his feelings aside and pretending he's not hurting isn't fair to you because he probably won't be able to put 100% into getting to know you.

If he is still seeing his soon to be ex when he meets you and sparks fly, again their is a very strong possibility he isn't going to be able to give you or his relationship with you 100% of his energy. It is better to wait until his ex is off the scene and he's had some time to get used to being single again, if you think he's the right person for you then give him time, perhaps tell you're interested but you want to take things slowly.

If he seems to only talk about her with anger or hopeful love, then he probably still has some unresolved feelings that need to be dealt with, or he hasn't recognized his own part in the relationship ending. Be aware that hating his ex, or pining over lost love means he is highly unlikely to be able to think about you without also thinking about his ex, and that could lead to unfair comparisons, you should propbably think twice about starting a relationship with this guy.

If he just can't seem to stay away from his ex, other than if he needs to be in touch with her because of children or shared responsibilities you should make sure he isn't holding onto something that should be over. Be gentle, you may not need to force the issue, simply ask him if he'd like to talk about his ex and what he still has with her, you may discover he is able to commit to a relationship with you and that his ex isn't a threat to your happiness.

If seems to be too interested in his ex, perhaps he still has too many photos of her on his mobile, or reads her star sign every day, or you notice he checks out her facebook profile or who are new friends are then you might have a problem that suggests the ex is still too important and that spells trouble for your relationship with him.

With these tips on what to look for you should be able to say fairly confidently that your new guy is ready for you or still hung up on his ex, and remember that any guy who isn't ready for you should probably cut loose to find his way. If he comes back to you that talk it through and let him know you expect him to work on a relationship with you, but don't accept second place if you ever hope to have a future with him.

Nice guys finish... well it should be first shouldn't it?

2011-08-19T18:13:00.000+10:00

I'm sure you've heard the saying, nice guys finish last? It's a common phrase heard by men all over the world and usually we just sympathize with them, and when their back is turned we think about how much of a loser they are. Trouble is many of them really are nice guys, and given half a chance can prove they really are your Mr Right.

Often women will complain that the nice guy is too serious, he reads too much, or gives the impression of being an intellect. So he's smart, don't let that stop you from getting to know him, just think how much you could learn from him, and even better yet, how much he could teach your children.

Maybe he seems boring and doesn't like going out much. Some people are more responsible and getting to work on time, and taking care of their responsibilities is important to them. These sorts of guys could be just what you're looking for if you plan to own your home one day, and the upside is he'll be home with you rather than out with his friends.

He's completely in love with you but you just don't feel the same way about him, but oh boy, he's going to be 100% faithful to you. Chances are he knows you're not as into him, yet he still loves you and hopes for a miracle. Give him a chance, because you know if you do you'll be onto a keeper who won't break your heart.

He seems to be more of a friend than a lover, you can relax when he's around and don't feel the need to plaster on makeup to impress him. Sure everyone likes to dress up now and again but day after day gets a bit tiring. The man that loves you just the way you are is the man who sees your inner beauty, and he's crazy about it.

There is also a very strong chance your best friends approve of the nice guy, maybe he's a bit plain looking but they won't mind, they have your best interests at heart and make sure you know he's special. Perhaps a haircut and a change of outfit will give your nice guy all the characteristics of Mr Right, but you won't know until you try.

I'm just fabulous, they said so...

2007-09-19T06:04:00.000+10:00

Being a foolish romantic I probably fall into the category of being a 'Fabulous Man', well I think so from reading Bob Grant's "The man of your dreams", which in my defence is a book I borrowed from a friend of my fiance.

We'd been over to her place for a coffee when her being single came up as it often does, except this time she was unusually upbeat about the future, she'd just read "The man of your dreams".

I think I am my fiance's dream man, after all why else would she be with me. But I must say I dread the topic coming up when her friend is around because I often have to defend myself against the onslaught of cave man type accusations.

This time I was pleasantly surprised, Bob Grant talks about men being one of two types, Fabulous, or Strong and Steady. Ah hah, men fall into two groups and they're both great. A welcome relief for any man who regularly socialises with single women.

If you're a woman and you haven't read this book, go ahead and do so, and if you're a guy, go ahead and buy it and give it to her as a gift. Believe me you'll thank me. Having my personality dissected while I'm still in the room is rarely a nice feeling, but this time round surprised me. I came out of it feeling 'Fabulous'.

Chocolate fondue, but it didn't work

2006-04-26T13:16:00.000+10:00

On those cool evenings we tend to snuggle up under a blanket while we watch TV, and a couple of nights ago we dragged out a Chocolate fondue set we'd been given for a recent birthday. We thought this would be a really romantic experience, dipping marshmallows into slowly melting chocolate.

It started well, the chocolate started to melt, we dropped a couple of marshmallows into the chocolate and swirled them around. Oh boy, it was heavenly. We'd just bought a plain Cadbury chocolate bar, but it was nice.

After a few minutes though we noticed a smell of burning, yikes, the fondue set was one of those cheap sets you buy for a couple of dollars and the candle was set too high in the frame so the chocolate had started burning at the bottom of the bowl. Oh well, at least we had a laugh about it, and a lovely hot cuppa followed afterwards.

Coffee and chat her most precious time

2006-04-22T08:24:00.000+10:00

My fiance read through the first two romantic musings and told me her most precious time with me is at the end of the working day when we sit down together over a coffee and nibbles, then just talk about what happened at work.

We do this every day before our evening shower, then we prepare dinner together and settle down in the living room to watch TV before going to bed. It doesn't sound like much, but these little moments of romance help keep our sanity in an insane world and bring us together instead of only really catching up at the weekend.

These moments are treasured because my best friend is my fiance and life would be unbearable without those moments. We often mix it up a little by sitting together at our computer and replying to emails or browsing our favorite travel destinations, Rome, Paris, the Mediterranean.

10 Romantic Surprises for Her

2006-04-21T02:55:00.000+10:00

10 Hold her hand when you're out and about

9 Run a bubblebath for her and drop the petals from a dozen red roses on top

8 Secretly arrange for a friend to take her out on a shopping expedition then give her an envelope of cash as she walks out the door

7 On those cold winter nights, snuggle up under a blanket and hold her tight

6 Listening to her when she needs to talk, and not offering advice on how to deal with the situation

5 Letting her sleep in, then when she wakes the house is filled with the smell of fresh butter croissants and ground filter coffee

4 Opening a door for her because a lady deserves the little gestures

3 Planning to spend time together, keeping your promise and then giving her a single red rose just because you love her

2 Getting home early and preparing her favorite meal, setting the table with candles, soft music, and a nice bottle of wine

1 Getting down on your knee and proposing when she least expects it

Romantic Yachting in the Mediterranean

2006-04-20T11:28:00.000+10:00

How's this for romantic, a warm sunny Mediterranean day, on a yacht anchored in a sheltered bay, crystal clear blue sea lapping at the sides, a bottle of pink champagne cooling in ice, a delicious picnic arranged on the deck, off in the distance seagulls lazily hovering over the waves, a pristine golden beach only meters away.

Imagine you and your partner sunning yourselves on deck, and glancing mischievously across at each other, each knowing the rest of day can only get better.

This is a dream of mine I whispered in her ear. She smiled and closed her eyes, in my minds eye I could see her on deck, sitting up and looking directly at me, then slowly raising one hand and beckoning with her finger.

Even though we were only in our living room the romance of the moment took hold, my word, we can't wait to experience the real thing.